Reflections on 2010

Well, the new year is here. My blog is about a year old now, even though I only kept it consistently updated for part of the year. It still feels nice to have had it for a while, and have, to a degree, kept with it. I am happy 2010 is over though. 2010 was an incredible year, but a difficult one as well. I feel that although I grew so much in 2010, I fell into a bit of a slump. I was in such a transition into figuring myself out that I felt a bit lost at times. However, there were some moments in 2010 that I am grateful to have gone through because of the growth I received from it. Despite feeling the slump of figuring out who I am, 2010 was definitely not a wasted here. Here are some reflections on big moments for me from the year:

Bringing in the new year at Urbana was probably the best possible way to start 2010r. Urbana is a national missions conference held by InterVarsity. It occurs ever three years in St. Louis, Missouri and I was so happy to able to attend. For about a week, you hear different speakers, attend seminars, bible studies, and you get to explore St. Louis. I learned so much about God, his views on the hurt in the world, and I now have a stronger passion for seeking justice. It is also the place where I felt called to do the Fresno Urban Internship. On new years eve, I was in a stadium with over 15,000 people, praising God, dancing, and celebrating with my close friends. It was such a beautiful experience and I cherish the memory.

Committing to a dating fast for a year has also been a pivotal part of 2010. I committed to this the day before spring break, the day my boyfriend and I of two years broke up. I had been a serial monogamist since I was about 13. I went from relationship to relationship, with the longest gap of singleness being about two months. Being consistently in relationships from 13-19 caused me to never have a full grasp on who I was or where my identity was. I began to realize that I was starting to shape into a new person as I got older and as I realized what my passions were. This didn't seem to coincide with the relationship I was in, and I knew, as painful as it was, that I needed to take time on my own. I have been taking this time to work on myself, become a stronger person in terms of guys, and learning to be patient and rely on God's timing. While sometimes I struggled, this time of singleness has been well needed and refreshing. I am amazed at how much I have learned about myself through it!

Spring break camp this year was also an intense and rewarding experience. For the last two spring breaks I have gone to InterVarsity's spring break camp. It is a camp on Catalina island where you go for a week and inductively study the book of Mark for 8 hours a day. Along with that you get to stay on a gorgeous island, hike, kayak, spend time with friends and have your mind blown from everything you learn. This year, it was my second time going, so I studied the second half of the book of Mark. This included Jesus' death and resurrection. The night we studied Jesus' death, one of our leaders read a medical description of Jesus' death, we read the scripture, and watched part of The Passion. I cried consistently through the whole thing. I had just come off a difficult break up and was in a bit of a sad spell. When I sat and thought deeply about the intense pain and sacrifice that Jesus' went through, my problems seemed so small. It is so good to be writing about it here now, as it is reminding me of those feelings again. I left spring break camp feeling refreshed and ready to heal and with a huge appreciation and gratefulness for Jesus.

The Fresno Institute for Urban Leadership. I spent six weeks in Fresno over summer participating in the Fresno Urban Internship (FUI). I worked during the week with an organization called World Impact. I worked with a group that held bible clubs for kids where we sang songs, taught lessons, hung out with the kids, and served them lunch. I wasn't sure how I would feel working with kids as I never considered myself a "kid person." However, I was so impacted by these kids! You can learn so much about a community and life through kids. They were in such difficult situations and it was so unfair what such innocent kids had to be subject too. My heart went out to them every time I saw them, and I completely enjoyed every minute I was able to spend with them (even when they were difficult!). I also attended urban leadership classes where I learned about the inner city, causes for poverty, gangs, immigration, etc. They were so interesting! I got to hear so many amazing people speak about their stories in the inner city and how God is working in such a dark place. I was so inspired by the re-locaters (people who intentionally move to the 'bad' areas of the inner city) and the commitment they made to restoring the inner city. Fresno was probably one of the biggest growing experiences of my life and developed a passion for God's heart for social justice- restoring communities and people affected by injustice and poverty- and bringing hope. I really could go on and on about the people I met and experiences I had at FUI! I created some great friends too and love all the other students who I experienced the internship with!

Applying to college was also an interesting experience. I have been attending a community college for the last few years as I graduated high school early and needed some time to figure out what I wanted to do. In November, I applied to UCSB and Cal Poly for the Fall 2011 semester. It was exciting to be filling out the ticket to the next chapter of my life, but also scary as so much in my life will change! I will be moving out of my house, and starting a new school with so many new people. I can't wait, but I also want to make sure to really enjoy the time I have left of being a student at my community college, the friends I've made here, and living with my family for a few more months. The future is so crazy to think about but I know its in Good hands.

Turning 20 was also kind of crazy! It's weird to no longer be a 'teen.' But I am more than happy to join the 20's club! 

The end of 2010 was partly rocky due to some hard things going on, however, my family and I shared a really lovely Christmas together. My mom made homemade tamales, and on Christmas eve we had a great night of eating together, playing board games, and just having a good time. On Christmas day we opened presents to each other and had another day together of just enjoying being together. It was two beautiful and stress-free days. It was a great way to begin winding down from 2010. The last day of 2010 was spent at home with my family and a few close friends. My dad made homemade chicken strips, we played board games and ate a ton of fried food. What better way to bring in the new year!? It was such a happy way to end the year and start a new one.

I am so grateful for these and many other experiences that I had in 2010. I grew so close with my friends and family this year as well, and I know that I have made some lifelong friends. I am still working on figuring out what all my goals are for 2011, but I know this will also be a big year for me. It's my last semester at my current college, and I will be transferring to a new one. I'll be leaving my childhood home with my parents, and my best friend will be moving across the country. It's going to be a year of transitions! And lets hope I remember to blog about it :)