I know I am already nine days into the new year but I really didn't take time before the new year began to set up some goals for where I hope to see my life by 2012. (It is weird to even write that number I remember celebrating 2000!)
I have three major goals that I want to pursue this year:
The first one, which is typically my first goal every year as I continually need this, is to develop and explore a deeper relationship with God. To do this through reading scripture, prayer, practicing listening, worship, fellowship, evangelism and service. I know that is a lot, but I hope that by taking baby steps I will be able to become a little bit stronger in each area. A good start has been reading some books on christian living. I was definitely feeling a spiritual rut towards the end of 2010 and I was feeling a bit down about a lot of things because of it. I knew I needed to turn back to the hope and fulfillment that I can find in Jesus. I also have a decent amount of books on Christianity that are on my shelf unread. So far it has been really helpful.
Secondly, I want to work on creating a more loving and positive self body image as well as encouraging others to do the same. Last semester I took a class on Media and Society and learned a lot about how much of how we see ourselves, judge ourselves and judge others is affected by what the media and our society feeds us. We grow up with T.V., magazines, and our culture telling us how we should look. Commercials tell us that if our hair doesn't look a certain way, or if our skin has imperfections, obviously something is wrong with you. Along with being raised with the media telling you all these things, our culture does too. Just think about high school and the pressures faced to fit in. Many people are victims to bullying and teasing merely because of how they look, because our culture tells them that because they look different, there must be something wrong with them. Plastic surgery, botox, lip injections, "age-defying" creams- all things that tell us that something about us is wrong. I myself, as much as I would like not to, subject myself to the same thing. I have spent a lot of time worrying about how I appear, wondering if guys think I'm pretty, wondering how I could be prettier, always thinking I need to lose a few pounds and picking apart every imperfection on my body. "I know I'll be happier with my body when..." would be a line that would run across my mind often. They were usually goals that I never attained. I was fortunate to have a family who always instilled me with encouraging words and never criticized me for my looks. I know a lot of my insecurities and flawed thinking is merely being a product of my culture and the media that I am exposed to. Part of 2011 will breaking myself of negative thoughts about my body and learning to accept it as a beautiful gift from God and hoping to encourage others to see themselves in the same way. A line that won't leave my mind is that our bodies shouldn't be honored for how they appear but for what they do. And our bodies can do a lot: walk, run, dance, cook, hike, laugh, see, hear, build a fence, change a tire, etc. etc. The list could keep going. I got this idea from a book I am reading called Unsqueezed: Springing Free from Skinny Jeans, Nose Jobs, Highlights, and Stilettos by Margot Starbuck. It is a book that discusses "why God really gave us bodies and what we can do with them." I'm sure I will be referencing it more in other posts!
My third major goal is to continue to make steps to living a more sustainable and eco-friendly lifestyle. In 2010 my family and I began making changes to live a more Earth-friendly lifestyle. These changes included replacing plastic water bottles with reusable aluminum water bottles (our brand of preference: Kleen Kanteen), replacing paper napkins with cloth ones, and being recycling psychos (meant in a loving way :) ). Also, mostly using reusable bags for shopping. My major goal this year is to decrease in my use of plastic. I hope to not use any plastic bags this year and to remember to bring reusable cloth bags when in any store. Also, for Christmas my parents got me an eco-cup (this isn't the same one but is pretty much the same things), and my goal is to remember to bring it with me in order to avoid using any disposable plastic cups. I also have a goal for eating at restaurants that give plastic utensils and paper napkins, to bring my own reusable utensils and cloth napkin. Th more plastic we can keep out of our landfills the better! And of course, always trying to take the environment into consideration with any decision or purchase.
In a nutshell, those are three things that I've made steps toward working on already, but want to commit to more deeply in this year. I tend to be a bit all over the place with things (hence the title of my blog) so I know I'll have many ups and downs. I know I will still have days where I feel disconnected with God, criticize my body, and choose convenience over Earth-friendliness. However, I hope to just take it all one step at a time and not be so hard on myself. I need to understand that change doesn't happen overnight. And hopefully, I will see real progress when I reread this on January 9, 2012. I would love to have some new years resolutions that I actually keep. And again, I hope I remember to continue to blog about all of this :)
3 comments:
Thanks for sharing information regarding growth and development in 2011.
Those are good new years resolutions! They're all deep and not the usual shallow ones of more money or higher social status. Deep resolutions are the hardest to accomplish but they're also the most rewarding. It sounds like you went through a bit of hell in 2010 which sucks but at least you were able to use it to change yourself and become stronger. You mentioned how you were able to use your breakup to help another person at FUI. That shows a lot, you could have become bitter and disillusioned but instead you chose to turn your pain into something beautiful and made a real difference in someone else's life. It's a very Christian thing to do, to choose to resurrect something which is ugly into something beautiful. It's a tiny gem of Christian reality that you get to hold in the palm of your hand and take reassurance from in the face of doubt. What was the nature of your spiritual rut? What kind of Christian books are you reading? I've read many books on Christian philosophy, if you have any questions regarding Christian philosophy I might be able to help you.
Your second new years resolution quite frankly surprises me. You have anxiety over the way you look? Shannon, the only man who would not find you pretty would have to be either gay or blind. Most women have to work hard to be pretty, you have to work hard to be ugly. I see your point though and I think everybody these days, even men, suffer from too much mass media forcing down our throats these images of what is “perfect”. Screw being perfect. Perfect isn't beautiful, its stale and boring. Just be physically healthy and have fun with fashion, that's what I say. If Lady Gaga can be praised for wearing a dress of meat I don't think anyone needs to worry too much about what they're wearing these days. Can you imagine all the bbq's she destroyed with that dress? Millions of girls across America sneaking away with their father's steaks in the middle of the night all in the name of fashion.
I might try one of those kleen kanteens. I saw Alan using one and he looked pretty badass. Are they dishwasher safe? I drink a lot of bottled water so I'd be giving the world at least another 10 years before the eco-pocalypse by switching over. I'd like to learn more about recycling. I saw a show called Bullshit by the magicians Penn and Teller and they blasted most forms of recycling as being counter-productive, except aluminum recycling, they said that that really does work. I don't know, have you learned anything from your classes at Hancock?
Good luck on your resolutions! Like you said take it one step at a time and don't get too hard on yourself. Great blog! Keep it up.
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